As a high school senior, I just knew my grades and my test scores would set me apart from some many other candidates when I got to college. They make it seem like it’s going to be a breeze, but they lied. I am entering my junior year of high school and it is getting more and more difficult to fund my education. I love my school and I’ve never been happier, however, I simply can’t afford it. I planned my entire junior and senior year in terms of what I wanted to accomplish and what I wanted to see happen for myself. Those dreams may not be so attainable for me at this point. I’ve taken so much out in loans to cover my expenses and I still don’t have enough. It’s so discouraging especially when you’re an excellent student and have actual goals for yourself.
Week 14’s quote was “Without struggle, there is no progress.” This has been tattooed on my ribs for a very long time now and I’m just getting around to really understanding what it means. I have been going through some really tough time these past few weeks with school and my future and it all seems so uncertain. It’s heartbreaking to hear that you can’t continue on the plan you‘ve had for your life since you were a little kid. It saddens me to have to accept such a harsh reality and there are times I just want to give up or change my dream. Despite that, I still try to stay positive and keep a clear focus. While this has been consuming me, I have had to put other obligations in the background. I haven’t even been feeling inspired enough to write, but I am buying a journal this week so I can be sure to write at least once a day, not on on my phone. Whenever I try to write using my phone, I always end up opening emails and getting irritated by some message I received.
I have struggled so much to keep myself in school that when I finally receive that degree, I will feel much more grateful. I can’t wait for that day to come, but for now I will just follow what is truly meant for me. If I didn’t have to go through all this mess just to put myself through college, I wouldn’t appreciate what it means to earn that degree. The good thing about the struggle is that it doesn’t last forever. One day I’ll be able to look back and say that I actually made it through and reached my goals. And that is what keeps me going.
In the meantime, I have some good news. I have a huge story coming for you. I’m not sure when I will release it but it will definitely be sometime this week. I also am moving to North Carolina so I will be doing my first vlog ever! I’m super excited about that because I will moving back into my own apartment. If you don’t live on your own, you wouldn’t understand. Living on your own is the best feeling in the world, mostly because you can literally do whatever you want. My sister and I are moving and what better way to capture this big even than to do a vlog. I haven’t gotten my camera yet, but I have an iPhone 7 plus so the video will still be lit.
Until next time,