I was on my way home from school this Friday, minding my business like I normally do you know nothing new. There was a girl, probably around my age who got on the bus, with her headphones in, also minding her business. When she stood up to leave her shirt had rolled up a little exposing her lower back and stomach. She was heavyset so it wasn’t hard to miss if you were looking in her direction. She stepped off the bus and as soon as the doors closed behind her there was a loud uproar of laughter. It was a condescending kind of lighter like “girl, now you know you dead wrong.”
At first I didn’t understand the joke, I thought maybe someone got a crazy text or the bus driver said something funny. Bus drivers always make small talk and jokes to brighten everyone’s day. But when these ladies in front of me starting talking I caught on very quickly. They were laughing at the girl who just got off. They were so consumed by her choice of dress and her appearance. I ignored it completely and went back to checking my emails. Then, I heard one lady say “Did yall see the whole moon? The moon and a whole lot more.” Another lady said, “I would hate to look in the mirror if my body looked like that. I don’t even want to imagine what it looks like in a bathing suit.” My heart dropped. To make matters worse, the bus driver also chimed in, adding to the jokes. Oh, and they were were all over 30. Just FYI.
I hate when people 1) bully someone because of things they can’t control and 2) bully someone who can’t defend themselves. I hate bullying period but these two things make it worse. For all we know, the girl could have been saving that specific outfit for Friday and was super confident in her appearance that day. Or she could possibly not afford to get newer clothes that fit better. Or my favorite scenario, she might not have even noticed her shirt rolled up. Like if they could’ve heard themselves hey would’ve felt so dumb. They didn’t even know the girl’s name and had so much concern for what she looked like. Instead of telling her her shirt had rolled up, they thought it was more important to make fun of her. Seeing things like that make me feel so sad. I wanted to cry for her. Another part of me, probably the west Baltimore in more wanted to cuss them slam out like who do yall think yall are and what makes you think your opinion is even relevant? Or funny?
It both saddens me and angers me when I witness bullying. It’s almost like people are oblivious to the forms of bullying, and can only understand when they are on the outside looking in. They can notice someone else being bullied or being the bully but can never admit when they are doing the bullying. It just makes me think that no matter what age people are, the less concern and consideration they have for other human beings. What makes it worse is that these “adults” probably have children who they are raising to be just like them and to neglect the true definition and forms of bullying. While we have to understand it’s a cruel world and everyone will have their own opinions, we also have to train ourselves to mind our business. In most cases ignorant connotations can be easily avoided by worrying about ourselves. If it has nothing to do with me, what is the significance in me adding an opinion?
None of their comments were even necessary. What if she had heard them and not been in a state to ignore those things? Sometimes I go through periods where I don’t feel pretty or like my looks are enough. And there are times when people unknowingly make small comments that feed into those feelings. It just makes it worse for me to get out of those pits. You never know what a person is dealing with internally. Even physically. You literally never know anything and to consume yourself in the shortcomings of others, especially strangers has got to be one of the saddest, most pitiful traits a person can have. Why are people so mean? Why are people so nosey and judgmental? Why can’t people just mind their business?